Donna Colley and Margaux Towne-Colley of Omaha didn't set out to be gay-rights activists. But their son Grayson had big plans for them: He insisted on being born nine weeks early.

The couple's plan had been for Grayson to be born back in gay-friendly Vermont, where the women had gone the previous year to be legally joined in a civil union. That binding status confers on same-sex couples all the state-level rights and responsibilities of marriage, including automatically making each partner the legal parent of a child born into their relationship.

Grayson instead chose to make his debut in Nebraska, after biological mom Margaux's blood pressure skyrocketed and she had to be rushed to an Omaha hospital. At birth, the influential little guy weighed only 2 pounds, 2 ounces.

"You know when they hand you the baby in the towel? Well, with Grayson, it was, 'I see the towel, but where is the baby?,'" recalls Colley, who in Nebraska has zero legal rights as Grayson's second parent and Towne-Colley's partner. Suddenly, Colley found herself totally dependent on the kindness of the medical staff to let her oversee her son's progress in the neonatal intensive care unit as Towne-Colley recovered from the C-section and a pregnancy-related illness.

Luckily, the family's ties were respected. Yet, as Colley wisely stresses, "You hate to rely on your good luck. A good parent wants certainty rather than just hoping people will be nice."

Their family's vulnerability at the hospital made Grayson's mothers determined to secure legal protections. Because they live in Nebraska, they've had to start a giant step behind where they'd be even in the 35 other states (including Michigan) that overtly ban same-sex marriage.

In 2000, Nebraska amended its state constitution to bar any sort of government recognition of same-sex couples. "This is the most anti-gay family law in the country," says attorney Tamara Lange, who's with the American Civil Liberties Union. "(Gay couples) are essentially disenfranchised. They can't ask for a city domestic partnership registry or a state law prohibiting discrimination in hospital visitation."

Grayson's moms are among five Nebraska gay couples participating in a federal lawsuit seeking to have their state's clearly unconstitutional prohibition struck down. (The U.S. Supreme Court already told another state -- Colorado in 1996 -- that it couldn't make it harder for gay citizens than their heterosexual counterparts to pass laws. The Constitution, after all, guarantees all citizens the right to petition our government for redress of grievances.)

Ironically, the Nebraska case is perhaps the best illustration yet of just how unstoppable the movement for full legal equality for gay families has become. Far from keeping gay voices from being heard by making it pointless for gay couples to appeal directly to state and local officials for legal safeguards, the Nebraska amendment has awakened and energized the state's gay community.

The most adamant foes of basic gay civil rights have a very good reason for trying to silence those of us who're gay: When gay people speak up and say to friends, neighbors and lawmakers, "I'm no different from you; I want to protect my family," then fair-minded Americans tend to respond, "That's perfectly reasonable."

The more Grayson's moms tell their story -- that their newborn needed his second mom by his incubator -- the more their fellow Nebraskans will follow the path public opinion is taking in other states. Recent polls in Massachusetts and a county in New Jersey -- states where same-sex marriage is being weighed in the courts -- show majority support for opening marriage to loving gay couples.

Progress can't come too quickly.

"We feel strongly that we have obligations and responsibilities as parents and we want to honor those," Colley says. "We want to take care of our family just like other families."

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