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The New York Times
N.Y. / Region
Gay Marriages Begin
in Connecticut
By LISA W. FODERARO,
nytimes.com on the Web, November 13, 2008
NEW HAVEN -- During an
exuberant shopping expedition three years ago, Peg Oliveira made a spontaneous
proposal in an aisle of Ikea, blurting, “Marry me!” to her partner, Jennifer
Vickery.
Last fall, long before the Connecticut Supreme Court legalized same-sex
marriage, the couple became formally engaged, with Ms. Oliveira explaining that
she “wanted there to be a moment when we each consciously chose to be together
for the rest of our lives.”
On Wednesday morning, with their 3-month-old daughter, Willow, in tow, Ms.
Oliveira and Ms. Vickery became one of Connecticut’s first same-sex couples to
wed, in a chilly breeze outside City Hall here. Surrounded by journalists
and a few friends, they exchanged rings and shared the Ikea story during their
vows, along with a slow, tender kiss.
The state’s highest court ruled on Oct. 10 that excluding same-sex couples from
marriage was unconstitutional, and a week ago the court announced that gay
marriages could officially be performed starting on Wednesday.
Many same-sex couples said they would wait to apply for their licenses, which
expire after 65 days, to have time to prepare for wedding celebrations in the
spring and summer. Indeed, advocates for same-sex marriage predicted that
there would not be the same rush for licenses on Wednesday that there was in
2004, when Massachusetts became the first state to legalize gay marriages, or in
June, when California began performing them. They cited both the short
notice and the fact that Connecticut has, since 2005, offered civil unions,
which offer similar rights and benefits, for gay couples.
Still, lawyers and supporters of gay marriage called the day momentous,
especially as a counterpoint to the passage last week of a ballot measure in
California that invalidated a court decision legalizing gay marriage.
Connecticut voters overwhelmingly rejected a proposal, backed by opponents of
same-sex marriage, for a constitution convention that would allow for such
direct voter initiatives on the ballot.
“Today Connecticut sends a message of hope and promise to lesbian and gay people
throughout the country who want to be treated as equal citizens by their
government,” said Ben Klein, a senior lawyer with Gay and Lesbian Advocates and
Defenders, a Boston-based group that litigated the Connecticut case. “It’s
living proof that marriage equality is moving forward in this country.”
City Hall here was adorned with bunches of white balloons and giant sprays of
long-stemmed red roses as Robin and Barbara Levine-Ritterman, who were among the
eight named plaintiffs in the lawsuit against the state, obtained a marriage
license, although they did not plan to marry immediately. “We’re thinking
about doing it in May,” said Robin Levine-Ritterman, 49, an naturopathic
physician and acupuncturist. “But we really wanted to be part of this
historic first.”
But Ms. Oliveira, 36, a yoga teacher and early childhood education consultant,
and Ms. Vickery, 44, a lawyer, did not wait. Officiating at the simple
ceremony, just before 11 a.m., was their friend, Judge F. Herbert Gruendel of
the State Appellate Court, who recalled Ms. Oliveira’s saying five years ago on
his porch that she would like to be married. “Today I can say to you that
you are,” he said.
Before the ceremony, Ms. Oliveira explained why the couple, who have been
together for four years, had not entered into a civil union. “We decided
that we wanted to hold out for the real thing,” she said. “Parties are
fun, but it’s not about the celebrating piece of this. It’s about honoring
the magnitude of the rights that we will be granted, and we wanted to jump in
and take advantage of that right away.”
Massachusetts and Connecticut are now the only states allowing same-sex
marriage. Vermont and New Hampshire have civil unions, and California has
domestic partnerships, which are similar.
Across the state on Wednesday morning, couples waited for word that Judge
Jonathan E. Silbert of Superior Court here had entered a final judgment in the
case, thus putting the new marriage law into effect. It was a ceremonial
act, since the Supreme Court had ruled, 4 to 3, that the state’s civil unions
violated the constitutional guarantees of equal protection under the law.
State Representative Beth Bye and her partner of seven years, Tracey Wilson,
paced the West Hartford Town Clerk’s office on Wednesday morning. As Ms.
Wilson handed over the $30 check for the marriage license, she asked, jokingly,
if the couple would get a refund on their civil union license from December
2005. The couple’s 16-year-old son, Adam Brown, who filmed the
seven-minute ceremony, quipped that the only thing making civil unions equal to
marriage was the price.
Ms. Bye, who married Ms. Wilson at 9:41 a.m., said she was not necessarily vying
to be No. 1 in the state, but did want to be the first to get married in West
Hartford — her hometown and part of her district.
“I always knew you were the most competitive person in the world,” said Scott
Slifka, the mayor of West Hartford, by way of congratulations.
By 4 p.m. on Wednesday afternoon, six couples had obtained licenses at West
Hartford Town Hall, including Elizabeth Kerrigan and Joanne Mock, the two lead
plaintiffs in the lawsuit, who planned to marry in the coming months.
Michael Miller and Ross Zachs handed out white frosted cupcakes with the letters
M and R on them after marrying on the steps of Town Hall. As Carole MacKenzie, a
Universalist Life minister, concluded the ceremony, saying “By the authority
invested in me by the State of Connecticut,” the crowd erupted in applause.
Christine Stuart contributed reporting from West Hartford,
Conn.
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