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The Record
Family equality is
not an age-appropriate subject
By ALFRED P. DOBLIN,
Columnist northjersey.com, From the Web, September 17, 2007
A WEEK AGO, Governor Corzine
addressed a group of gay and lesbian journalists at NJ PAC in Newark. The
Sept. 9 event, hosted by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association,
was sponsored by The Record. Corzine fielded questions from journalists,
many about same-sex marriage in New Jersey.
The governor, while known for his liberal views, has been careful in his support
of same-sex marriage. As the issue played out in state courts, his
position was that he would support whatever the court decided. The high
court ruled that same-sex couples have the right to all the protections of
marriage, but left what that would be called to the Legislature.
The Legislature quickly ran from marriage and embraced civil unions. There
has been some speculation -- primarily among gay activists -- that the lame-duck
Legislature might revisit the issue. Given the recent spate of arrests, it
is doubtful whether this lame-duck Legislature could offer even one good quack,
let alone tackle an issue as volatile as same-sex marriage.
Corzine made it clear that he would not encourage a marriage discussion during
the presidential race. Rather, he would like see a national debate on the
Defense of Marriage Act and the military's policy of "Don't ask, don't tell."
The governor said same-sex marriage in New Jersey would be an entirely
appropriate subject for debate in the 2009 gubernatorial race.
The problem is there are problems now.
As reported in The New York Times, a South Jersey school district yanked a
documentary from classrooms because it included a child introducing his two
dads. The film was being shown to third-graders. Discussion has
ensued whether it is age-appropriate or whether the entire issue should be left
to parental discussion.
Hold the phone. In New Jersey, it is legal for same-sex couples to adopt.
It has been ruled by the state's Supreme Court that same-sex couples are
constitutionally entitled to join in unions that have all the weight and
significance of marriage. Why is there even a discussion about showing
this video?
The documentary includes images of an interracial family. There are
probably parents who do not approve of such marriages. There are probably
parents who don't approve of interfaith marriages. That is not a public
school's concern.
The idea that New Jersey, despite its "blue" status, puts a moniker of
"traditional" and "untraditional" on families is offensive and backward.
It is not incumbent upon any school board to decide what constitutes a
traditional family. No district would bow to pressure from parents who
object to interracial marriages. No district would decide when it is
age-appropriate to learn about white, black and Asian people or Catholics, Jews
and Muslims. There are opposite-sex parents. There are same-sex
parents. They exist. There is no age-appropriate moment when a child
should learn what a family is.
If the video discussed sexual activity among couples -- married or
civil-unionized -- that indeed would be problematic for a third-grader.
Sexual activity is an age-appropriate discussion. Sexual orientation is
not.
People may not like that there are gay and lesbian couples raising children.
But the state says those families are no different from other families.
It is understandable why the governor does not want same-sex marriage on the
table in 2008. It is a polarizing issue, one that will help conservative
Republicans mobilize. As a Democrat, Corzine does not want that to happen.
It is hard to find "liberal" Democrats who will go on the record advocating
same-sex marriage.
Yet, for same-sex couples raising children, marriage matters. Children
understand what it means when other children say, "These are my parents.
They were married on such a date." Clearly, many adults do not understand
this. It is another example of how civil unions fall short of the state
Supreme Court's mandate of equality for same-sex couples.
It is not politically advantageous to support marriage equality in New Jersey at
this time. That means it also is not politically advantageous to support
family equality either. Two years is too long a wait for the debate.
Alfred P. Doblin is the editorial page editor of The Record.
Contact him at doblin@northjersey.com.
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