Some Tormented by
Homosexuality Look
to a Controversial
Therapy
By MICHAEL LUO,
NYTimes on the Web, February 12, 2007
Corey Larsen spent years hiding the
feelings that drew him to other men, at first refusing to acknowledge them and
then praying daily for them to be taken away.
As a teenager in Clearfield, Utah, he tried to banish the thoughts. As he
grew older, the attractions grew stronger, but so did his religious convictions
as a Mormon.
The contradiction tormented him. After moving to Manhattan several years
ago, he remained a respected young leader in his church ward. Behind
closed doors, though, he sank into despair. “I was either going to stay in
the church, in what I believe and what I love, or choose this different path
that I felt was just knocking on my door,” he said.
Last May, Mr. Larsen, 28, began seeing a therapist in Jersey City, joining
others across the country making similar attempts to eliminate their gay desires
through therapy or religious ministries dedicated to that end. Most are
caught in similarly anguishing crises of faith and identity, searching for a way
out through a murky world of intense dispute and warring political agendas.
Efforts by religious conservatives to “treat” homosexuality received renewed
attention last week with news that the Rev. Ted Haggard, an evangelical pastor
dismissed from his Colorado megachurch in a gay-sex scandal, had undergone three
weeks of intense therapy and then reportedly concluded that he was “completely
heterosexual.”
Although the scientific community cannot say definitively what determines sexual
orientation — whether it is nature or nurture — most mainstream mental health
professionals dismiss attempts to eradicate homosexual desires or to change
someone’s sexual orientation as quackery that is potentially harmful.
Gay rights advocates say the efforts only provide additional fodder for
homophobia. Mental health experts say there is no proof that sexual
reorientation therapy, as it is often called, works. Meanwhile, they
argue, the damage it can inflict on self-esteem, triggering depression and even
suicide, is well documented.
“There’s not a debate in the profession on this issue,” said Dr. Jack Drescher,
a New York psychiatrist and former chairman of the Committee on Gay, Lesbian and
Bisexual Issues of the American Psychiatric Association. “This is like
creationism. You create the impression to the public as if there was a
debate in the profession, which there is not.”
Nevertheless, these efforts, commonly called the “ex-gay” movement, have become
increasingly visible across the country, where the battle over gay marriage and
sex scandals in the Roman Catholic Church have brought the divisive issue of
homosexuality to the forefront in recent years.
The efforts to rein in homosexual desires run the gamut from those that take a
completely secular counseling approach to others that are completely spiritual.
Some proclaim complete change is available, while others focus simply on helping
gays and lesbians live celibately. Men seem to predominate in them, but
women also seek them out.
Despite the skepticism about whether ex-gay programs can work, there is no
denying the struggle of those involved. Among them are evangelical
Protestants, Orthodox Jews, Mormons, Roman Catholics and others often driven by
deeply held religious beliefs that run counter to societal voices that encourage
them to embrace being gay. It is unclear how many people participate in
these programs, but a leading Christian organization in the movement, Exodus
International, estimated in 2003 it had 11,000 in its affiliated ministries.
Mr. Larsen, a soft-spoken middle-school teacher in the Bronx, grew up in a small
town north of Salt Lake City. He tried to ignore his feelings for other
boys back then, he said.
“I had a hard time even acknowledging it in my own mind, or in my prayers to
God,” he said. “I would say, ‘Just help me with that thing.’ ”
Later, he dated women briefly but invariably broke up with them out of fear that
they would learn the truth. He fell into a deep depression.
Early last year, he learned about a special weekend program in Pennsylvania run
by a secular group called People Can Change. He signed up right away.
The weekend focused on addressing his feelings of inadequacy as a man, which Mr.
Larsen now believes is what shapes his attractions to other men. But just
meeting others like him, he said, was healing.
Afterward, he made an appointment with David A. Matheson, one of the organizers
of the weekend and a state-licensed counselor in Jersey City who runs the Center
for Gender Affirming Processes.
The center is one of several such organizations that dot even the greater New
York area, where gay men and lesbians are more widely accepted than in many
other sections of the country.
On Friday and Saturday evenings in Manhattan, as many as 30 men and women gather
in the Midtown offices of another group, called LIFE — Living in Freedom
Eternally — Ministry. An evangelical Christian organization that has been
around for several decades, it combines counseling and emotional work with
biblical teaching and prayer.
In Morristown, N.J., the Vineyard Christian Fellowship of Morris County began
running a Bible study program two years ago called Living Waters that is geared
toward people wrestling with homosexuality and other forms of what evangelicals
term “sexual brokenness.” The program, led by lay people and conducted on
Friday nights, originated in California.
On Monday evenings on the West Side of Manhattan, about a dozen members of the
nationwide Roman Catholic organization Courage go through a 12-step program that
helps them try to live chastely.
For Jews, there is JONAH — Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality —
based in Jersey City. It runs online and in-person support groups for
“strugglers” and organizes special immersion weekends focused on family dynamics
and emotional healing for people dealing with what they call “same-sex
attraction.” They also hold a support group for parents of gay children.
Mr. Matheson, who holds a master’s in counseling and guidance from Brigham Young
University, began full-time practice in New Jersey in 2004 and juggles an active
roster of some 50 clients. He charges $240 for a 90-minute session.
Mr. Matheson trained under the psychologist Joseph Nicolosi, president of the
National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, a prominent
secular organization in the ex-gay movement.
The emphasis in Mr. Matheson’s counseling is on helping men — all his clients
are male — develop “gender wholeness” by addressing emotional issues and
building healthy connections with other men. He said he believed that
helped reduce homosexual desires.
“The therapy I do really just uses standard, normal therapeutic principles,” he
said. “Cognitive therapy and emotion-based therapy, standard therapeutic
approaches, with an emphasis on helping them feel more comfortable in their
masculinity.”
Defenders of sexual reorientation programs point to a 2001 study by Dr. Robert
L. Spitzer, a psychiatrist at Columbia University, who interviewed 200 people
who said they had successfully changed their orientation and concluded that many
of their accounts seemed credible.
But after enduring an avalanche of criticism from peers who said he had given
too much credence to the accounts of his subjects, many of whom were leaders of
ex-gay ministries, Dr. Spitzer now says many advocates of sexual reorientation
have misrepresented his views.
“Although I suspect change occurs, I suspect it’s very rare,” he said. “Is
it 1 percent, 2 percent? I don’t think it’s 10 percent.”
Conversations with more than a dozen participants in programs in the New York
area revealed a range of wrenching stories and outcomes. Some told of
years of struggle with little to show. Others said their gay feelings had
clearly diminished. Several insisted they had experienced a complete turn
to heterosexuality.
But even Kevin Dickson, 37, who leads the Living Waters program at the Vineyard
church in Morristown, said he was cautious about promoting change. “If
someone says, ‘Go to this ministry and you’re going to come out straight,’ if
you don’t, then how are you going to feel about yourself?” said Mr. Dickson, who
was openly gay until three years ago and now lives celibately.
He says his attraction to men still exists, but is greatly diminished.
“I’m resolved to the fact that’s always going to be a temptation, but who’s not
tempted by something?” he said.
But leaders of LIFE Ministry boldly declare that complete “freedom” is available
for anyone willing to put in the emotional and spiritual work.
Robert Schaeffer, 44, one of the group’s facilitators, is a former pastor who
spent years secretly having sex with hundreds of men. After he discovered
he was H.I.V.-positive, he divulged his secret to his Pennsylvania church and
his denomination sent him to LIFE Ministry. He began dating a woman after
two years of counseling and eventually married her. He now proclaims
himself to be completely free of homosexual desires.
“This ministry pointed me toward the emotional roots of homosexual desire,” he
said. “The ungodly reactions to pain in my early formative years are
really what I had to look at to get free of this.”
But for every ostensible success story, there are many other stories of people
who have concluded they were deluding themselves, including some who used to be
among the movement’s most visible leaders.
Peterson Toscano, 41, spent years in ex-gay ministries, including LIFE, during
the 1980s and 1990s and eventually got married, only to see his marriage fall
apart after he was unable to keep his homosexual urges in check.
He finally decided: “If you keep trying this, you’re fooling no one.”
Now openly gay, Mr. Toscano lives in Hartford, attends a gay-friendly Quaker
meetinghouse and performs solo comedy sketches around the country, including one
that pokes fun at his experiences in the ex-gay movement.
As for Mr. Larsen, he feels positive about his progress. He called his
attraction to other men now more like merely “noticing” them, as opposed to
“this super-strong urge.”
“It doesn’t take me into a bad place,” he said.
But, significantly, he no longer says that completely eliminating his attraction
to men is his final goal. He has come to see his temptations as a trial
and an opportunity for growth. He cited a verse from the Gospel of Matthew
that urges followers of Jesus to take his yoke upon them and they will find the
burden light.
For him, he said, the burden is beginning to lift.
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