HNT forum yields
gay-union reactions
By RICK MALWITZ, Home
News Tribune Online, April 29, 2007
Eighty-three year-old Nancy Butch of
North Brunswick does not object when same-sex couples enter into a civil union
or domestic partnership.
Call it what you want, she says. But enough is enough.
"I resent your union when you want it to be called a marriage," said Butch,
meeting a gay couple at a recent forum hosted by the Home News Tribune on the
topic of gay marriage.
Dorothy Madell, 83, of Milltown wonders how a child would react to having
same-sex parents. "What do you say when they ask, "Which one is mommy?' "
George DeCarlo of Berkeley Heights, who entered into a civil union in Vermont in
2000 with his partner, Ryan Reyes, and a domestic partnership in New Jersey last
year, said he understood the reluctance of women in their 80s to accept his
lifestyle.
But he recalled the reaction of his family, when he announced in the 1970s that
he was a homosexual.
"The only one in my family who had no problem was my grandmother, a devout
Polish Catholic. She had no problem whatsoever," said DeCarlo.
He also recalled how he grew up in a nontraditional household, and did not mind.
"My father was out of the house, and I never missed it," said DeCarlo.
New Jersey law has fallen short of adopting the concept of gay marriage, calling
relationships such as the one DeCarlo and Reyes have a "domestic partnership."
DeCarlo said that the state law has its shortcomings.
"Until our marriage is like your marriage, we will continue our struggle," he
said to married people at the forum.
DeCarlo said there are 800 references to marriage in state law, but New Jersey's
domestic partnership law affects only 10 references.
DeCarlo and Reyes have both run for office under the Green Party ticket.
DeCarlo said the Democrat Party is only a little more progressive than the
Republican Party. "The Democrat Party (in New Jersey) has never supported
full marriage rights," he said.
Edward Babecki of Fords, who served in the U.S. Navy from 1950 to 1953,
emphasized that his oath required him to uphold the U.S. Constitution. He
said of same-sex couples, "They should have the same constitutional rights.
Who is to say who you should marry?"
Babecki said the social laws of the United States should not be, "In a rut.
We should move upward and onward."
His son, Ray Babecki of Fords, explained that he is a member of the New Jersey
Libertarian Party, and he is uncomfortable with much of what the government does
in the licensing and regulation process.
"I don't want religion to control marriage. I don't want government to
control marriage. Someone else's sexuality does not affect me. Live
and let live," said the younger Babecki.
Babecki explained that he is 45-years-old and single, while everyone else in the
room was married. Referring to DeCarlo and Reyes, he said, "You two are
more normal than me."
rmalwitz@thnt.com
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