Marriage not threatened by gays seeking to wed

 

EDITORIAL, Home News Tribune Online, February 19, 2006

 

The long-awaited showdown over gay marriage arrived before the New Jersey Supreme Court last week, with much of the hoopla one might expect:  There were more than 20 briefs filed to support one side or the other in the case; there was a great deal of attention paid by the media; there was a standing-room-only crowd inside the courtroom, and between 100 and 200 activists outside, the majority there to support the cause rather than denigrate it.

But it wasn't clear that most New Jerseyans gave the day, or the case, a second thought, suggesting what many have long argued:  that while the issue exorcises politicians, and is of supreme importance to those intimately connected to it — either because they are homosexuals who would like to marry, or because they are deeply religious people who are convinced their beliefs forbid it — it does not generate the deep passions in the general population most of those who oppose it claim.

There is no doubt that society, and with it the government, has an interest in protecting and encouraging marriage, given that stable families are a seemingly indispensable force in raising happy, healthy, productive children who become involved, responsible citizens.  It also is true that marriage has long been viewed as sacred by the world's religions, although modern marriages receive their legal sanction from the state, not the church.

Despite the public concerns, however, at heart marriage is a distinctly private issue, a complex and often inexplicable relationship that involves two people.  And the privacy integral to the union is a quality the public seems to grasp much more readily than any of those who claim to defend its sanctity.

If New Jersey polls are correct, the majority doesn't believe the state should say who can and cannot marry, any more than people want the state to tell them in what towns they can live or whom they can call friends; in other words, neither the social constructs erected around the institution nor the historical significance attached to it override the privacy at its core.

The issue before the New Jersey courts, of course, was narrower; neither the state nor the plaintiffs bothered to argue that gay marriage should be outlawed.  State lawyers argued only that the issue should be decided by the Legislature, not the courts, while the plaintiffs said gays' right to marry was protected by the N.J. Constitution, and therefore needed no further legislation.

In a perfect world, the Legislature would already have acted with an explicit law, so the Supreme Court was not left to grant a right that will almost surely be viewed as overstepping its bounds, at least by those who disagree with it.  So far, however, legislators have been loath to act, mostly because they fear the consequences.  In the next few months, they ought to gather up their courage, look around them, and accept what the majority of New Jerseyans seem already to have grasped:  the sanctity of marriage, at least as defined by the state, is not threatened by gays' desire to partake in it.

A state that already has given gays the right to adopt and to receive benefits under its domestic partnership law ought not to deny homosexuals and their rapidly growing families the symbolic and social benefits of marriage.

As one protester put it last week:  "Every religion should choose what it does with marriage.  But (the question of whether New Jersey should recognize gay marriages) is a civil-rights issue."

 

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