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Catholic couple clashes with churchover gay rights
Pioneer Press (TwinCities.com), from the Web, February 26, 2006
Charlie and Maria Girsch aren't your typical parents. In their 20s, he was a Roman Catholic priest; she was a teacher and a nun. They fell in love and chose to marry.
Now, love looms tall again to test
the "We are caught between the child we love and the church we grew up in," Charlie Girsch says.
At the Cathedral of St. Paul,
people wearing rainbow-colored sashes — considered a political statement in
support of people in gay relationships— are refused communion. And the
diocesan leader, Archbishop Harry Flynn, now supports a proposed amendment to
the As a sash-wearing parent, Charlie Girsch has been denied communion himself. He and his wife rallied with others last summer to create Catholic Rainbow Parents, a group that has grown to 30 or more moms and dads of adult gays who oppose the church's stand.
The group drafted a declaration in
support of gay rights, read it on the steps of the Cathedral of St. Paul in
October and mailed a copy to the They vocally oppose Flynn's support of a proposed "one-man, one-woman" marriage amendment to the Minnesota Constitution that likely would block gay partners from sharing health insurance or jointly adopting a child without other legal measures.
Flynn has encouraged Twin Cities
priests to promote the amendment. Two weeks ago, the Archdiocese of St.
Paul and On that same weekend, Catholic Rainbow Parents wore their sashes to church in support of gays in committed relationships. They and other pro-gay groups have publicly protested the proposed amendment by carrying banners with messages they want to deliver to legislators. Such words as "Don't Enshrine Discrimination in Our Constitution" and "How Does Persecuting My Family Protect Your Family?" blare from the signs they carry. "All gays want is the protections heterosexual couples have," Charlie Girsch says. DEFINING MOMENT Parents of gay children reel at the language in official documents released years ago by the Vatican that labels people in same-sex relationships as "objectively disordered" and "instinctively inclined toward evil." For those who have a gay child, the words cut like a knife, Maria Girsch says. "It's that fierce parental love. It's 'I don't want you messing with my child.' " She and her husband now train work teams and other groups to reignite a childlike creativity in their business, Creativity Central (www.creativitycentral.com). The couple maintains the church's stand on gay and lesbian relationships goes against Gospel teachings that are the church's foundation. "The commandments are to love God and love your neighbor as yourself," Charlie says. "Jesus constantly had to challenge the religious leaders of his day to back off their legalism and remind them to be compassionate." He can't imagine a loving God singling out any minority. "Everybody is a child of God," he says. "They all look different. Some are short. Some are tall. Some have big feet. And some are gay. It's part of the package." Any other way of looking at homosexuality ended for them when "we realized we love our kid," he says. They have seen others experience a similar defining moment. "What do you do when a child is gay?" Maria asks. "The most anti-gay people have the hardest time accepting that reality. But they get over it, because that lovable child trumps their homophobia."
The Girsches' second-born child
told them he was gay 10 years ago. Now 34, Jon Girsch is a self-employed
graphic designer who lives in
Jon Girsch is proud of the stand
his parents are taking, he says. He hasn't left the religion of his youth,
nor has he joined a church in "That includes women," he says. "I'd like to see an equality across the board and have that be based on love. It's very simple. A lot of people want to make it a lot of work." JUDGMENT DAY Her son came out as gay because he had to admit the inevitable, his mother says. Twenty years earlier, her husband did something akin to that when he gave up the priesthood. "For the lovely Maria," Charlie Girsch says, casting a fond glance at his wife. He has felt the sting of being judged by others, he says. "Being a former priest had a stigma." Charlie's father proved it by refusing to attend his son's wedding. Charlie Girsch felt another sort of sting when he was denied Communion because he wore a rainbow sash. He realized he had lost, however briefly, the white, male — and straight — privilege to which he was accustomed. "In some ways, it didn't hurt," he says. He knew he could go back to the Communion rail without the sash and partake of the sacraments." Someday, he hopes, it will be as easy for his son to feel the church's acceptance. Kay Harvey can be reached at 651-228-5468 or kharvey@pioneerpress.com. Note: To learn more about Catholic Rainbow Parents, the Twin Cities group that supports Catholics in gay or lesbian relationships, go to http://catholicrainbowparents.org. To sign a declaration of support, scroll to near the bottom. |
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