Same-sex partners
celebrate first day
of civil unions
By Donna Porstner,
norwalkadvocate.com from the Web, October 4, 2005
STAMFORD, CT Oct.2 -- In their
four years together Roberta Luciano and Toni Kokoros talked about partnering
legally through a civil union in Vermont, or a same-sex marriage in
Massachusetts.
But the couple wanted to say their vows closer to home with Kokoros' father
Constantine, a Stamford resident, by their side.
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On the
Norwalk Green, Justice of the Peace Donna King, left, fills out the
civil union license for Beth Schierloh, center, and Christi Byrd,
both of New Brunswick, N.J. Yesterday, same-sex civil unions became
legal in the state.
(Andrew Sullivan/Staff photo) |
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So yesterday, on the day civil unions
became legal in the state, the South Norwalk residents saw their chance to
legalize their relationship, and seized it -- with news media hovering.
Standing in the Stamford Government Center lobby, they slipped matching diamond
eternity bands on each other's hands, pledged their devotion to be "lawful
partners" for life and sealed their vows with a kiss.
Mayor Dannel Malloy, who attended Westhill High School with Kokoros in the early
1970s, officiated.
Afterward, Luciano, 50, a social worker in Stamford, said there was a feeling of
newfound legitimacy to their relationship.
From now on, she said, "I can talk to my friends about Toni as my partner and
it's real. It's not just roommates."
Although some same-sex couples have denounced civil unions as inferior to
marriage and say it makes them second-class citizens, Kokoros says it's all the
same to her.
"To us, it is marriage," the 49-year-old Stamford barber said. "Civil is just a
word."
The union gives Kokoros and Luciano 588 rights afforded to married couples, such
as inheritance and pension benefits.
They were among nine same-sex couples issued civil union licenses in Stamford
yesterday.
Malloy officiated for seven couples at the government center, and performed
ceremonies for the other two couples later in the day at their Stamford homes.
City and Town Clerk Donna Loglisci said it was an emotional day for everyone
involved.
"Every couple -- no matter how long they had been together -- they were a
wreck," she said. "They were sweating, they were crying, they were
shaking. It was unbelievable."
Christopher Cintron, 23, was nervous and jittery before his union with Tristan
Mogollon, 25, and frantically searched for a cigarette.
Cintron's parents and friends looked on and snapped photos as the two men
pledged their love and devotion and exchanged rings.
Afterward, Mogollon admitted he asked Malloy to perform the ceremony outdoors
because he needed fresh air.
The Stamford couple wore blazers, jeans, flip-flops and matching hot pink
T-shirts -- the outfit Mogollon was wearing when Cintron first asked him out at
Club Mor one year ago. Cintron was bartending at the time and Mogollon was
promoting the club's gay night.
"He's all about memories so it brought it back," Mogollon said.
Cintron made the first move, but it was Mogollon who proposed five months ago.
Mogollon said he decided, "We love each other and we share everything. We
might as well share it forever."
Anne Lato, 39, of Bridgeport, was the only one wearing a wedding gown at city
hall yesterday. She and her partner, Rosa DeJesus, 38, wrote their own
vows -- though they could only be heard by each other amid the buzz of downtown
traffic during their outdoor ceremony. Afterward they planned to ferry
across to Port Jefferson, N.Y., for a celebratory dinner.
Asked why they wanted a civil union, Lato, who plans to take her partner's last
name, simply stated, "because we can."
"It's nice. It gives you the legal protections we should be able to have,"
she said. "Hopefully, they'll make it a marriage just like everybody
else."
Stamford and Norwalk were among the few municipalities issuing civil unions
yesterday.
Officials with Love Makes a Family, a gay rights group that lobbied for civil
unions, said many same-sex couples across the state did not plan ceremonies
yesterday because they were unsure if they would be issued civil union licenses
on a Saturday. The organization polled clerks offices across the state and
found only 13 planned to have office hours yesterday. Another 10 clerks
offices were open by appointment only.
Some same-sex couples, such as Mark Berman and Bob Hong of Greenwich, held off
from applying for a civil union license yesterday because they are waiting for a
date that has special meaning. The couple is planning a ceremony and
reception for 160 people at Cobb's Mill Inn in Weston next weekend -- the 22nd
anniversary of the day they met.
In Norwalk, where Town Clerk Andrew Garfunkel had cookies, flowers and a rainbow
balloon arched over the counter, 17 couples were issued civil union licenses
yesterday.
While most of the couples were from Norwalk and neighboring towns, some came
from as far away as New Jersey and Maryland.
Connecticut and Vermont are the only states that have civil unions.
Massachusetts has had gay marriage since May 2004.
While five couples had justices of the peace perform ceremonies in the clerk's
office, the hallway and the parking lot, Garfunkel said most are planning to
have a ceremony at a later date in front of family and friends. Once a
license is issued, a couple has 65 days to have a ceremony.
Garfunkel is compiling a list of justices willing to perform same-sex
ceremonies. Under the law, a justice may decline to perform a ceremony for
any couple, gay or straight.
Christi Byrd, 29, and Beth Schierloh, 27, of New Brunswick, N.J., had a civil
ceremony on the Norwalk Town Green yesterday because they found a justice in
Norwalk on the Internet -- former Democratic Town Committee chairwoman Donna
King.
Byrd and Schierloh had a commitment ceremony in New Jersey last year, but it
wasn't legal.
When they found out Connecticut's Legislature approved the civil union law in
April, they planned a road trip.
"We want to be part of the movement," Byrd said.
While there were no protests in Stamford or Norwalk yesterday, about 50
opponents of civil unions protested at the state Capitol in a rally organized by
the Family Institute of Connecticut.
(Abridged) -- The Associated Press contributed to this story.
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