Day Arrives for
Recognition
of Gay Unions in
Connecticut
By WILLIAM YARDLEY,
NYTimes on the Web, October 1, 2005
HARTFORD, Sept. 30 - Anne
Bailey, 72, and Betty Palmer, 66, fell in love canoeing in Canada seven years
ago and now have an engraved metal sign in their driveway with prominent
lettering, "Bailey Palmer."
Their friends, JoAn Smith, 66, and Marilyn Ottone, 57, occasional guests at
cocktail hour in the comfortable Bailey Palmer house, in the woods of rural New
Hartford, have been open about their relationship since it began in 1974.
Yet for all the years of commitment between the two couples, now retired, they
do not plan to take the newest legal step for gay couples, entering civil
unions, which Connecticut begins recognizing on Saturday, the second state to do
so, after Vermont.
"For many of our friends who are gay, this is not a significant event in their
lives," said Ms. Smith, 66, a retired manager for an insurance company.
"It doesn't mean that I can now claim Marilyn as a dependent. It doesn't
mean that I can leave her my money without consequence. It doesn't give me
the same rights as the average American."
None of the four reject civil unions on principle or say they would refuse
anything less than full gay marriage, which is legal next door in Massachusetts.
Instead, after years of devotion to each other, they say they are emotionally
secure in their relationships regardless of legal recognition. And on a
practical level, the women echo the uncertainty that legal experts say surrounds
state civil unions: What, exactly, are the benefits?
Not everyone is spending time worrying. Beginning Saturday, town clerks in
some of Connecticut's 169 cities and towns will keep their offices open to
accept applications for civil unions. The rest will begin accepting
applications on Monday. Some gay partners, including a state lawmaker, are
planning Saturday ceremonies in parks, churches and city halls.
Even those like Ms. Bailey and Ms. Smith who are not planning civil unions see
them as progress. "It's remarkable that we've come from the days that we
spent in coal-black bars in Provincetown to the light of day," Ms. Smith said.
But the new law, which effectively grants gay couples every state right and
benefit that married couples receive, does not resolve many major questions,
including how gay couples will be treated in other states, what their status is
under federal law, which does not recognize gay unions, and whether it is
financially wise to legally unite.
"Everybody's amazed at the complexities that this law will present," said Brad
Gallant, an estate lawyer with Day, Berry & Howard, which has set up an
estate-planning group for same-sex couples.
In April, the Democratic-controlled General Assembly and Gov. M. Jodi Rell, a
Republican, approved the law, making Connecticut the second state to approve
civil unions and the first to do so without court pressure. Massachusetts,
after a 2003 court decision, began allowing gays to marry. California has
a broad domestic partnership law, though last month Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger
vetoed a gay marriage bill passed by the State Legislature.
It is unclear what rights will cross state lines. Some experts believe
that Vermont, which approved civil unions in 2000 after a lawsuit, and
Connecticut will be "reciprocal," that each state will recognize a civil union
from the other. But Connecticut does not recognize gay marriages from
Massachusetts.
Within the state, the new law will ensure a broad range of rights. Gay
partners can serve as conservators of their partners' estates; they can receive
state tax deductions if they inherit money from their partners; they can be
assured of hospital visiting rights; they can file joint state income tax
returns and take the same deductions married couples do.
Yet most of the largest tax benefits from inheritance and income are federal,
leaving what Mr. Gallant called a "huge inequality."
The status of gay parents may also not change. In 2000, the state made it
easier for same-sex couples to adopt children, and some experts say that status
as an adoptive parent may carry more force than a civil union license,
particularly if the child was born before the civil union occurred.
"Parents who've already gone through those adoptions are not going to gain
anything else, perhaps," said Carolyn Kaas, a law professor at Quinnipiac
University, which held a seminar in Hamden on Friday to explore the legal
questions of civil unions.
An advocacy group, Love Makes a Family, says it plans to continue its push for
gay marriage in Connecticut. But even gay marriage within the state would
leave questions.
"Until the federal government is willing to define relationships by state law,
we're not going to fully achieve equality for same-sex couples," Ms. Kaas said.
Even with so many uncertainties, many gay couples plan to "get civilized," as
some are calling the unions. Art Feltman, a state representative from
Hartford, said he was planning to be united with his partner of 25 years at a
ceremony at Hartford City Hall on Saturday.
And Chelsea Turner, a lobbyist who helped push the civil union bill through the
legislature this spring, said she and her partner are having a ceremony, "kind
of a renewal of vows if you will," in Elizabeth Park, which straddles the border
between Hartford and West Hartford. A year ago, in the same place, they
declared their commitment before 120 guests.
"We've talked about starting a family, and it will no doubt add a comfort that
we would not have had," Ms. Turner said of the new law. "I guess it's not
about any one individual right or responsibility. It's more about being
able to say to a principal when you pick your kid up at school, 'I'm little
Johnny's parent' and to not be questioned about that."
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