Heterosexuals increasingly back gay marriage
By Deb Price / The Detroit News from the Web, March 8, 2005
When Baptist Pastor Stephen Jones talks about what makes for a happy marriage with Janice, his wife of 35 years, one special ingredient might surprise you:
Double-dating with coupled friends who happen to be gay.
"We've double-dated so many gay couples over the years. They've been a real strength to our marriage.
We've simply had wonderful times," says the pastor of Seattle's First Baptist Church, a big-steeple house of worship with many gay people in its congregation.
But Jones doesn't enjoy the company of gay friends and then ignore the harm done by the government's excluding them from civil marriage, a legal status that strengthens and protects his bond with Janice and their children.
Friends stand up for friends. So Pastor Jones is among the growing number of heterosexuals who're standing up for their gay friends' right to marry.
"Why do I care about women's rights when I am a man? Or the rights of people of color when I am white?
If my value system is based only on who I am, that wouldn't say much for my values," Jones says.
"I believe gay couples could be part of a wider renewal of marriage in our culture by showing why it's so special to them to be able to make a lifelong commitment to someone they love through marriage.
The reason the institution of marriage is in trouble isn't because of couples who want to marry," he adds.
As Washington state's top court takes up gay marriage, beginning with oral arguments March 8, the elected justices won't just be hearing gay couples' perspectives on why the discrimination needs to end.
They'll also be hearing from friends, most of them heterosexual.
Those of us who're gay and feeling like we could use a few more friends these days should get a big lift from the record number of allies who've filed "friend-of-the-court" briefs in Washington.
(Go to lambdalegal.org, then click "In court" to read the
"Andersen v. Sims" briefs.)
Among those urging Washington state to join them in standing up for marriage-minded gay couples:
• African-American, Latino, Asian and women's legal groups. Reviewing religious, cultural and pseudoscientific excuses for bans on interracial marriage before the Supreme Court knocked them down in 1967, the legal groups point to striking similarities to today's battle over marriage.
In 1912, a Georgia congressman proposed amending the U.S. Constitution to declare:
"Intermarriage between Negroes or persons of color and Caucasians ... is forever prohibited."
Defenders of racist restrictions on marriage could point to their popularity.
A 1958 Gallup Poll found that 94 percent of Americans opposed mixed-race marriages.
• People of faith. A broad religious coalition, including Baptists, Quakers, Jews, Methodists, and Lutherans, urges the court to remember that "no one religious group ... speaks for all people of faith."
Religions differ wildly on whom they consider eligible to marry. The Catholic Church insists divorced people are breaking "God's law" if they remarry.
And, as the coalition notes, the Catholic rule book claims, "In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ, whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery."
Yet, divorce and remarriage are legal in all 50 states.
• Mental health experts. The American Psychological Association stresses that the children of gay couples are as emotionally healthy as other kids.
And it point outs, "If their parents are allowed to marry, the children of same-sex couples will benefit from the legal
stability ... that marriage provides."
• Business leaders. Opening civil marriage to gay couples "will strengthen Washington's ability to attract the world's best talent," plus increase its "reputation as a diverse, tolerant and innovative community -- the hallmark of successful economies."
Washington's highest court should join the friends standing up for the freedom to marry.
The justices would find they're in good company.
You can reach Deb Price at (202) 906-8205 or dprice@detnews.com.
Posted detnews.com 3-7-05, Published NJ Home News Tribune 3-8-05 under “More heterosexuals lending support”
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