States fail to
respect and recognize gay spouses
By Deb Price,
detnews.com from the Web, August 22, 2005
Struggling to describe the gigantic
emotional difference being married has made in his life, Brad Davis compares it
to one of the world's greatest natural wonders:
"It's hard to articulate. Like when you go to the Grand Canyon, why does
it feel so awesome? It just does."
He and Duke Funderburke didn't exactly rush to the altar. Of course, that
would have been impossible when the New Yorkers became a couple in 1963 -- or
any time in the next 40 years.
But after the first Canadian provinces opened legal matrimony to same-sex
couples in June 2003, Davis, now 68, and Funderburke, 72, were wed in Ontario.
After all these years, they didn't expect marriage to deepen their commitment or
make them feel more secure. Yet it has.
Looking back, Davis says, "It was always hanging over both of us that one or the
other might just leave... That feeling just doesn't exist now."
What does exist is the sense that New York isn't being fair to their marriage.
Funderburke, who taught in the public school system on Long Island for a
quarter-century, was blocked from adding Davis to his retiree health plan.
So, with the help of the Lambda Legal Defense, he's suing the state Department
of Civil Service to try to get it to recognize -- and respect -- the reality
that Davis is his lawful spouse.
"Duke has educated thousands of children in a community denying us equal
protection. It is very offensive," says Davis, who faces a $4,000 dental
bill that would be covered for heterosexual spouses.
The couple's lawsuit is among the first legal challenges filed by the thousands
of American gay couples who, like Joyce and me, married in Canada but aren't
treated the same as married heterosexuals in our home states.
The New York case is especially promising because of the state's long history of
recognizing out-of-state marriages, even ones not allowed within its own
borders.
And it's moving ahead as key political support is building in the state.
Democrat Eliot Spitzer, who as attorney general issued a nonbinding opinion that
New York law requires Canadian marriages to be recognized, is the front-runner
in the 2006 gubernatorial race. And New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg,
a Republican, has also voiced support
Here's a snapshot of other recent marriage advances and ones to watch for:
• Washington's top court will rule on gay marriage any day now.
• In Massachusetts, where more than 6,100 gay couples have wed, a proposal to
turn gay marriages into civil unions is expected to fail at a constitutional
convention this fall, reflecting a huge surge in public support for gay
marriage, Boston Globe polls show.
Meanwhile, the state's gay friendly top court hears oral arguments in October on
whether Republican Gov. Mitt Romney can continue to cite a racist 1913 state law
to prevent out-of-state gay couples from marrying. Look for a final
decision as early as January.
Anti-gays are proposing a new constitutional amendment to ban future gay
marriages that could reach voters in the 2008 presidential election year.
• Last month, Canada's legislature voted to extend marriage to gay couples
throughout the country, following Spain's lead on June 30. They joined the
Netherlands and Belgium, bringing to four the number of countries with gay
marriage nationwide.
Marriage itself is a natural wonder, an awesome institution whose power is best
understood from the inside. And one day, every civilized government will
see the wisdom of not just allowing but encouraging gay couples to enter it.
You can reach Deb Price at
dprice@detnews.com or (202) 906-8205.
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