Philadelphia, Mar.5 -- Pa. and N.J. aren't practical battlegrounds, activists said, adding it may be better to marry elsewhere and let lawsuits resolve.

In San Francisco, in New Paltz, N.Y., and in Portland, Ore., gay couples are lining up to buck the system and apply for marriage licenses.

But in Philadelphia, Collingswood, Cape May and other places around the region, there is little movement in that direction.

"There's not strong local pressure for local governments to issue marriage certificates," said Dolph Ward Goldenburg, executive director of Philadelphia's William Way Community Center, a gathering place for gays.

It's not that the gay community is afraid to take a stand. Instead, activists say, forcing the marriage issue at the local level simply isn't practical right now in Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

Pennsylvania is one of 38 states with an explicit ban on same-sex marriages.

New Jersey is considered more fertile ground for a fight. In January, the state passed a law permitting same-sex couples some of the financial and legal rights and benefits previously accorded only to spouses. And a case of seven couples suing the state for the right to marry is expected to reach the Supreme Court.

But while Gov. McGreevey enthusiastically signed the domestic-partner law, he is not in favor of going further.

"He continues to be opposed to gay marriages," said Micah Rasmussen, a McGreevey spokesman. "He signed the landmark domestic-partnership law, and that's the way we think the situation should be handled."

Pennsylvania's chief executive is on a similar page.

"Gov. Rendell supports civil unions between same-sex partners and believes that benefits should be extended to couples in long-term committed homosexual relationships but does not believe the definition of marriage should be changed," spokeswoman Kate Philips said.

Goldenburg, the William Way leader, said pushing local officials to issue marriage licenses would be premature. "I think the biggest concern now within the community is working against a constitutional ban on same-gender marriages," he said.

Mark Segal, publisher of the Philadelphia Gay News, said gay couples were looking elsewhere for marriage. Beginning in May, Massachusetts will issue marriage certificates to same-sex couples. "We're encouraging people to make it legal in Massachusetts in May, and then come back to Philadelphia to file joint taxes and paperwork with the city," he said.

Segal said he had no doubt that gay and lesbian couples eventually would be married in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. When it happens, he predicted, it will be a grassroots movement like those in San Francisco and elsewhere.

"When I look at the lines standing outside day and night in the cold and the rain just to get married," he said, "it just brings me to tears."

Collingswood Mayor Jim Maley, whose Camden County town has a growing reputation as a gay-friendly center, said it's not that he isn't willing to look at the issue. It's just that he believes the question is not his to answer.

"As mayor of Collingswood, if the marriage is not authorized by state statute, I would not perform it," Maley said. "But if the law changes, I'd happily marry whomever."

If gay couples were clamoring to marry in Cape May, City Clerk Diane Hollingshead would know it. But no same-sex couples have shown up for a marriage license. None have even stepped up to register as domestic partners.

"We're anticipating that, and we're a little worried, because we don't even have any forms to give them," Hollingshead said.

Still, the Rev. Elizabeth Goudy, pastor of Metropolitan Community Church of the Lehigh Valley, said there is a "wonderful, growing spirit" of activism in the local gay and lesbian community. Last month, 30 members of her Allentown church showed up at the Lehigh and Northampton County Courthouses for a National Freedom to Marry Day rally.

That was triple last year's turnout.

"I think there's definitely a sentiment here to stand back and let the courts do their work," Goudy said. "But I've also felt a need here. People want to stand up and say, 'There's inequality here.' "

Supported by members of Goudy's church, Allentown couple Liz Bradbury and Patricia Sullivan walked into the Lehigh County Courthouse on Feb. 13 and asked to apply for a marriage license.

The couple, the first from Pennsylvania to get a Vermont civil union, just felt they had to try.

"The issue we want people to understand is that civil unions in other states give you no rights unless they're recognized in your state," Bradbury said.

She and the love of her life were heartened, Bradbury said, that they were allowed to plunk down $35 to enter their mothers' maiden names and the places where their fathers were born, just as any other couple is.

"We were really pleased that Lehigh County was willing to acknowledge that we exist," she said. "For perpetuity, our names will be in the files as two people who were denied for a marriage license because we are of the same sex."

The clerk apologized to Bradbury and Sullivan and said that because they had paid the application fee, they deserved the same gift every other couple gets. "She pulled out a newlywed kit, this plastic bag full of crap - a bar of soap and two coupons and some Pepto-Bismol," Bradbury said.

The two cherish it. For now, it's all they will get in these parts.

"Straight married people get 400 state rights and over 1,000 federal rights and the newlywed kit, and we just got the newlywed kit," Bradbury said with a laugh. "Well, at least we got something."

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