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S.F. lets wedding genie out of bottle The powerful Wedding Photo Genie is out of the bottle. And it can’t be shoved back inside — no matter how many hostile lawsuits are filed, no matter how many hostile constitutional amendments are proposed. With the assistance of the CNN and newspaper photo editors nationwide, that genie has spoken to millions upon millions of fair-minded heterosexuals: This is the face of gay marriage. Be happy for these couples. If ever a picture was worth a thousand — no, make that 10,000 — words, it was this San Francisco Chronicle photograph: Elderly Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin, a couple for 51 years, embracing face-to-face, their foreheads gently touching, moments after becoming the first gay couple to wed with the blessing of the City of San Francisco. (To see the Chronicle’s gay wedding album, go to sfgate.com.) Phyllis, 79, and Del, 83, told me, as Phyllis charmingly put it: “We never expected it to happen in our lifetime. We are overjoyed that it did. We have a lot of memories — if we can remember them.” Day after day, the genie showed the seemingly endless line of gay couples waiting outside the ornate doors to City Hall for their turn to wed. Some had driven halfway across the country; others had flown halfway ‘round the world. Many camped out overnight so as not to lose their precious place in line or waited for hours in a drenching rain. What the genie was showing was the respect countless gay couples have for our relationships and for the institution of marriage. Anyone who’s ever been to a wedding saw familiar, heart-warming scenes: eager, expectant faces before the ceremony; the exchange of rings; the first married kiss; and beaming, joyful newlyweds. The genie was freed by the heroic actions of newly elected San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, a married, Irish Catholic who opened the golden gates to marriage for gay couples. The mayor, appalled by the way same-sex marriage was vilified during President George W. Bush’s State of the Union address, has said he wanted to do two things: Live up to his oath to uphold the California Constitution, which forbids discrimination, and put a human face on gay marriage. (Voters passed a ballot initiative against gay marriage in 2000.) Newsom wisely refused to heed the timid voices of people so afraid of a backlash that they never think the time is right to push ahead. And so now some 3,000 gay couples have been given marriage licenses by his city, bringing the total number of us who’ve married in the United States or Canada to an astounding 10,000. The mayor is the heterosexual knight in shining armor that gay America needed. Every minority group needs key members of the majority to help carry its banner. Women could not grant themselves the right to vote; they had to win the support of male lawmakers. And those of us who’re gay need straight leaders to show Middle America there’s nothing scary about ending discrimination against us. Newsom is showing that fear isn’t the only thing that can spread — so can courage. On Friday in New Mexico, the clerk of Sandoval County, located near Santa Fe, began marrying same-sex couples. Mayors throughout California are quietly talking about doing so as well. And Chicago Mayor Richard Daley publicly welcomed the idea of same-sex couples marrying there. Most politicians will be cowardly. They always are. But the fight for gay marriage has turned an amazing corner. For the first time, a government — the city of San Francisco — is suing a state to strike down discriminatory marriage laws. And when that case reaches California’s top court, its justices will see the many faces of gay marriage. They’ll be introduced not just to Phyllis and Del but younger couples, like the lesbian duo who married after discovering that they’ll soon be the parents of twins. The face of gay marriage is a picture of love, hope and commitment. Deb Price writes for The Detroit News. Reach her at (202) 906-8205 or dprice@detnews.com. This article was posted 2-23-04 on detnews.com and was published in the NJ Home News Tribune on 2-24-04 under the title “San Francisco sees gay love’s true face.” |
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