Gays feel for governor's 'outing'
By BOB CULLINANE, Asbury Park Press from the Web, August 15, 2004
Asbury Park, NJ -- When he announced yesterday that he was a "gay American," Gov. McGreevey not only became the first openly gay governor in the nation's history, but perhaps the only gay politician ever to declare his sexual preference on live, national television before a potential audience of millions.
"It must have been excruciatingly hard for him," Asbury Park Board of Education President Robert DiSanto said yesterday.
"I've been openly gay since the age of 17 and it was relatively easy for me to 'come out' back in 1979," he said.
"But to have to make an announcement on TV, at the age of 47, standing beside your
wife. ... I can't imagine how difficult it must have been. And a little embarrassing, I'd guess," DiSanto said.
"The governor just went through an incredibly personal episode under the spotlight of public scrutiny," Laura Pople, president of the New Jersey Lesbian & Gay Coalition, said of the news conference.
"The 'coming out' process is challenging enough, but (McGreevey's public announcement) just adds to the pressure he and his family will face."
The stunningly dramatic television event brought back memories for John Campbell of New Brunswick, co-founder of the Gay and Lesbian Political Action Support Groups.
"I was married 14 1/2 years when I came out," Campbell, 74, said. "Most of my family were not able to deal with it.
... They couldn't give me the same love and affection as they had" before breaking the news.
"I can really feel (McGreevey's) pain," Campbell said. So could Billy Tuers, a bartender at Georgie's in Asbury Park, where patrons watched the press conference on TV.
"I came out after being married for 23 years," Tuers said after the conference ended.
"I give (McGreevey) credit. It is a tough decision, but you have to be honest with yourself, first, and then your wife and your children."
'Should have been honest'
John Loffredo, an openly gay councilman in Asbury Park, said he was "taken aback" by McGreevey's announcement, adding that "it's not about being gay.
It's about honesty. (McGreevey) should have been honest."
Chuck Wolfe, president of the national Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund, also framed McGreevey's resignation as an issue of honesty -- and a lost opportunity.
"It is unfortunate that the governor had such an affair while married," Wolfe wrote in a press release yesterday of the governor's admitted affair with another man.
"If the governor had been honest with his family, and perhaps with himself, he may have had the opportunity to serve the state of New Jersey openly."
The Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund, which is an organization that promotes openly gay, bisexual and trans-gender candidates and officials, estimates there are 275 openly gay and lesbian officials serve in public office across the United States.
Five of those officials are from New Jersey, including a councilman from Maywood, a committeewoman from Haddon Township, a member of the Clifton school board and the two Asbury Park officials.
Michelle Brzozowski, a librarian at the Brick branch of the Ocean County Library who holds seminars about sensitivity to gay issues, said she was "sad and depressed that Gov. McGreevey felt he had to hide his gayness for so long."
"Because he was in politics, he may have thought he had no choice but to hide it if he ever wanted to get anything beneficial done as a politician," Brzozowski said.
"It is just a sad commentary on society's perception and treatment of gay people."
His personal struggle aside, McGreevey's announcement may contain a silver lining for the cause of gay acceptance, some members of the state's gay and lesbian community said yesterday.
"It's important that people understand that there are gay people in the community, be they prominent, like the governor, or just a neighbor," Pople said.
"In that sense, the governor is something of a role model."
Rumors go back years
Like many others contacted yesterday, both Loffredo and DiSanto acknowledged the rumors that have been swirling for years about the likelihood that McGreevey was gay.
"I wasn't surprised by the announcement, but it is disappointing that (McGreevey) is resigning because of it," DiSanto said.
"Being gay has nothing to do with his ability to do his job."
David Hoffman, Georgie's manager, confirmed that rumors had run rampant through the gay community for years about McGreevey's sexual identity.
But "It shouldn't be about his sexuality," Hoffman said.
That's a theme struck by others.
"What concerns Americans is the quality of their government, not the sexual
orientation of its officials," Wolfe said in his press release yesterday.
"Being open about one's sexual orientation in public life should not preclude them serving their communities or their country.
And there was little feeling yesterday that the governor's revelations would have any impact on the electability of gay candidates or other issues of concern to the gay community, such as same-sex marriage.
"I can't imagine (the announcement) would have any effect on the same-sex marriage issue in New Jersey," said Alphonso David, a staff attorney for Lambda Legal, which represents seven gay couples in New Jersey in a lawsuit that seeks same-sex marriage rights.
"At this point, (McGreevey's announcement) is personal. But we'll have to wait and see if it goes beyond that," David said.
But at least one observer yesterday at Georgie's saw a link to the same-sex marriage issue.
"(McGreevey) nixed gay marriage while he was having a gay, extramarital affair," said Karen Wagner, 50, of Ocean Grove.
"He sabotaged our purpose. He is such a hypocrite."
"I feel sorry for his wife," said Barry Bowling, 38, of Asbury Park. "If he had come out a long time ago he would have been better off."
After a pause, Bowling added: "I wish him the best."
Staff writer Andrea Alexander contributed to this story.
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